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Let me tell you something about Obama. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? IT’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in 8th grade, I started hanging out with Mitt Romney who was totally smart about America but then he moved to DC, and Obama was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to listen to Mitt speak, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you support my idea?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so ignorant of America’s needs?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Republicans pool party, I was like, “Obama, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a Democrat.” I mean I couldn’t have a Democrat at my party. There were going to be Republicans there with their human rights. I mean, right? He was a DEMOCRAT. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of politics because no one would talk to him cause he tried to redesign the American flag, and came back in the fall for the presidential election, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s trying to destroy the 2nd Amendment.
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